You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
