So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
