I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
