giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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