What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm getting married
To pizza
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize