I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
