Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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