You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
