When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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