he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
