Non-Jews are for practice
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
