ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
