Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Randomize
