i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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