Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Is it because I queefed?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
