Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
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