You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
