his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
