That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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