I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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