remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
