Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
