At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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