I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
