I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize