Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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