What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize
