Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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