do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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