i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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