i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
