need another drink. this is the easiest way
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
