I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
