like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
