Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
