Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
