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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
