What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So much Jack, so little girl.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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