this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
