i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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