WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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