Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
