You're so nebulous sometimes
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
