I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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