You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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