There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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