Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
