Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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