1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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