Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
