i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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