I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
