dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
