I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
