shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
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