just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Naked. naked and bneed help.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
