Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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