i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
you had me at cake vodka
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
