i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
