drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I could fuck to npr.
They have beer where we have blood.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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