smell my finger.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
