Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
