I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
