I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Two words: nipple clamps
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